Delicious and my not quite review

I started this post literally 3+ weeks ago, after I found myself downloading Delicious on iTunes at 3 in the morning. Here's the U.S. link. You can rent it for a little as $4 in standard def or buy it for $8 in high def. You can read mid0nz's interview with the writer-director, Tammy Riley-Smith, here.

I also livetweeted some idiotic thoughts along with it if you'd like to see. If you've ever wondered what sort of person I am, I am the kind of person who tweets about the Crime of M. Lange cinematography and chef!Shezza feels in the same film. Most of those thoughts really are idiotic though, so don't blame me if you click on it hoping for otherwise.

Non-spoilery writeup first, behind the cut for its obnoxious length.

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Below the cut is a review of sorts. But I'm somewhat terrified to post it, because it's not a great review. And I mean that both in quality and in assessment. It's a rambly and generally negative reaction to a film. I'm sorry about that, I really am. I feel very much like a killjoy posting this, and I tend to stay away from critique in fandom for a reason. But I thought I owed at least Mid0nz an honest reaction.

Cut for, again, obnoxious length and for spoilers.

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Certainly, your mileage may vary, and I absolutely hope that it does.

I've missed a lot on LJ.

I really wasn't kidding about that last post. I'd had it open for about 3 weeks, and I'm realizing, going back just a few days into my friends list, that I've missed a lot. Illness, depression, and god knows what else; I'm only on the 7th, and I think I've been off for the whole 3 weeks.

And I just wanted to say that I'm mentally sending everybody hugs right now. I don't even know if I should respond to everyone in their posts, but. Maybe this partially suffices. I wish there were something I could do.

Robin Williams

The way the backs of my eyes hurt feels like an indefensible, naked statement: the world's a poorer place. It feels indulgent and laden with guilt. Here we are, here we always are, in between other deaths, people with less success and shorter lives, close and far away. It feels selfish to mourn sometimes, preposterous to take one loss and stretch it across so much. But there's only so much mass in the universe, and it feels like a colossal waste that atoms, that have taken such balletic pains to collide and form stars and decay and become an individual person, should be undone just like that. A whole person, vanished.

I don't believe in god. I have a hard time with the sentiment that hopefully he's at peace now. I have a hard time with oblivion being okay.

Robin Williams died the day after my dad's birthday. He's always been the same age as my mom; I think of that whenever I see his birth year. I have more memories of laughing with him than I do with my own dad, for all that my dad lived for 4 years longer. What that says about me or him or my family life is probably telling of something.

I have a hard time with oblivion.