avawatson: (Default)
Having just posted this to tumblr, I thought I'd reproduce this writeup here:


Belated as this is, I just got home from my whirlwind trip. One day con, four days away from home. Three day con? Also four days away from home. Life doesn’t make sense.

First off, I had an insane time even getting to con. Why? It’s too long to get into so I’ll just show you this storify that’s made up of both my twitter account and the three patch twitter account from which I was livetweeting. I hope you enjoy the nsfw haikus. Freebeard appreciation 5eva. But then the really fun part of Friday night was interviewing johnfuckingwatson, jupitereyed, @notyourbreadbaker, and jaradel with thescienceofobsession on cosplay. Coming soon to a TPP episode near you! I was more tanked than Science, I have to say. Empty stomach, exhausted, and two glugged down G&Ts later, you better believe it. Then I slept super lightly and dreamt of twitter. Literally.

The con itself: it was cozy! The con organizers (sorry, *ahem*, board of directors) did a wonderful job, and I know the dedicated volunteers helped it to run smoothly. As others have said by now, it felt not unlike 221B con, but more intimate. There were only two main rooms where events were going on, Martin and Ballroom B. I so wanted the rooms to be Martin and Benedict, but alas. (Insert headcanon that B stands for Benedict anyway; but then Ballroom Benedict…Benedict ball room…but technically it’s Martin who walks like he needs all that space around his balls…what was I talking about?). Ballroom A was the social room, which was where I spent most of my time, manning the TPP table in the corner. The very lovely thescienceofobsession, azriona, andmydwynter kept me company when emmagrant01, drinkingcocoa-tpp, andnotverygoodatflyingaeroplanes left for panels and things, and there was a steady stream of people coming in to pick up goodies and say hello to.

Sadly, I barely attended any panels. Even the threepatchpodcast ones! Someone had to man the table and all. So while Drinkingcocoa did her Potterlock talk, I could only hear the cheers from next door in the social room and imagine the discussion. But:

  • Thanks to azriona being awesome and pinch hitting at the table, I did get to catch an hour of abundantlyqueer's war talk, which was decidedly awesome. Always, always go see AQ talk, people. I just wish I could’ve stayed the whole time.

  • I rather accidentally wound up staying for more of emmagrant01's AU/crossover panel just because the room broke up into groups and I got physically hemmed in when I'd meant to leave. (I was there to cover some social media pictures and whatnot; I was tweeting and instagramming for most of the day for TPP.) But I wound up staying, which was still good. I’m extremely glad I was there in person formakokitten breaking out her erudite enunciation of the virtues of tunalock. I’m really looking forward to that panel being on the next episode of the podcast. Oh, and that wound up being the first time and the most I talked to fuckyeahfightlock all day, so that was lovely. Truth be told, if I hadn’t been in her group, I would’ve recced the Fightlock AU as a dark AU for people to get into. (Not blowing smoke up anyone’s ass; I’ve already done it.)

  • I was there for half of the elephant in the room panel (which Drinkingcocoa also did a kickass job moderating, I thought) and was relieved people seemed genuinely engaged. I personally thought it was rather eye-opening, but I skedaddled for the fic panel.

  • I attended the 18+ fic panel but my particular table was strange for reasons I won’t get into in public. (johnfuckingwatson, jupitereyed, andthescienceofobsession, you know it had nothing to do with you.) But I eventually migrated over to songlinwrites' table where I met but didn't quite hear the name of merripestin and other cool people. (I didn’t get to squee at her about Comorbidity until much later at the suite party.)emmagrant01's fic table had the absolutely most amazing Johniarty fic that was pulled out of a first-time-writer's ass in 23 seconds flat. It was mindblowing. I cried. I literally cried and fucked up my makeup beyond repair. If you were in Ballroom B and watching TPLoSH and heard the entirety of Ballroom A erupting in cheers, hoots, and screaming multiple times, that was entirely due to this Johniarty ghost!hatesex post-Reichenbach miracle of a ficlet. “Do you like chocolate?" "What?" FUCKING SLAY ME WHERE I STAND.

And yet, the highlight for the night for me was entirely the post-con TPP partyin our con suite. It wasn’t decked out like our 221B con suite, but it was fun nonetheless. There were watermelon margaritas…oh, that we muddled with a vibrator because TPP shenanigans. You’ll hear about it on the next episode, I’m sure. Ah, but also: I finally learned who Merripestin was and I gleefully talked to her about how I evangelized Comorbidity at 221B con. I got Mormor recs from yoshiwara-den-of-sin, caught up with jaradel and galinthegreyhat here and there and everywhere, and talked way late into the night withacrowdofstars and @slashaddickt, keeping up poor Science.

I slept little, I squeed hard, and I’m looking forward to next year’s!

And because this is quite long already, have some pictures under the cut. Just some selfies and con highlights. <3

Read more... )
avawatson: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] pennswoods had this great thread about why people ship what they ship. And it's a very personal and raw, so I don't want to just casually link it here (but Shannon's great and I love following her on all the networks is what I'm saying). Anyway, many many of the comments are really great, and I posted, got some wonderful feedback, and I wanted to just reproduce for you what I wrote there.

I think this might merit a separate post I'd like to see one day (or start) here, but I'm one of those fans that identify with Sherlock. I love John; I do, but I identify with Sherlock. The performance of being Sherlock Holmes, the ambition of Sherlock Holmes, the insecurity and emotion and the uncontrolled bits and super-locked-down controlled bits, and the wanting of all of it, and the absolute not wanting of all of it. Sherlock is just...who I identify with.

John, I love, and Martin Freeman I love, but I almost love John through Sherlock's eyes. I love John through earlgreytea68's eyes. I love John through the fandom's eyes. But Sherlock, I never had to read meta or watch him be a BAMF in a fic or appreciate the actor in other roles. He's broken and I love him when he's pining, I love him when he's made whole, I love him when he finds that thing that makes him happy. I love that WHEN he's made whole, it isn't that he stops running or has a reason to stop running; he has someone to run WITH. And John, who doesn't know like Sherlock has known, that he's drawn to these things he shouldn't be drawn to, finds that too. And they can be happy in their way together. Running.

I really want Sherlock to be happy, but I sit with him in the pining and angst and pain too. And I ship johnlock because I can't see him loving anyone else. I can't see anyone else making him happy. I can't see anyone else having the power to hurt him or to make him jump off a building. John is it for Sherlock, and I feel that so much, I think about it and feel it every damn day.
avawatson: (Default)
Originally posted to the TPP squee mailing list. This is the long rambly thing I wrote that convinced me I should keep my inanity off of email lists and should just bury myself in livejournal again. It's basically longform nightblogging. I'm basically longform nightblogging.
About six weeks ago, I signed up with the springlock exchange. Never participated in an exchange before, but man, I did most of it right. I signed up early and had something like 5 weeks of prep time. Which I used! Kind of. I mean, I did in fact storyboard the
hell out of a story. (Exhibit A from 4 weeks ago) I originally was gonna attempt to do it with art and not fic. I'm no reapersun, but I've never embarked on that sort of multipanel storytelling before, so it was hard.

But I scrapped it after rereading the prompt and realizing my exchange person probably wanted more fluff than that. And my thing was quite hurt/comfort. Original prompt, for the record: (optionally humorous) fluff? My heart hurts for Pining!Sherlock right now, so maybe something comfort-related?

And then I was lost. Prompt asks for fluff and humor, but I absolutely didn't know how to separate comfort from angst.Really didn't know how to art that at all, so I decided to try fic. And my god...I'm not sure if it was easier or not. These last few days were absolute hair-pulling, twitter-meltdown madness. (I apologize to everyone who was there for it.) I didn't have writer's block, so the words would come...it's just that I'd have to sit and rewrite them because they were too angsty. Fluff isn't my forte or default setting. By the time deadline rolled around, the 29th, the 30th, I had such issues with what I wrote. (Excerpt of what I wrote my last minute beta is screencapped here as exhibit B)

But I got it in under the deadline. Somehow. Barely. I even drew a companion piece while my beta was writing me back, and for something with zero reference and done in under three hours, I'm pretty proud of it (the art bit).
And then I published the fic on ao3 and waited for the stress to die down. Which it did...slowly. I was wound up over this fic. Maybe it was the deadline?

And comments started coming in. Some of them solicited -- through twitter, me melting down, asking what people thought of my terrible five thousand words of brain splat. Some nice ones from my beta actually. And then I posted to ao3, and I've had some of the nicest comments I've ever had on my fics -- and I realized...I don't get comments on fluff (because I don't write it). I get comments on porn (because I write it).

So it's super nice to get superlative comments on porn, and a couple recent ones I have just wanted to up and marry, but...fluff comments are different. I'm feeling weirdly touched and I don't even know how to handle it.

So...god, maybe it's inversely proportional to how low I was feeling in the leadup to forcing that fic out the door, but I feel weirdly good now. My person who I wrote it for has apparently enjoyed it at least, and I'm just...really glad. Blood from stone, this fic.

July 2017

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