My tweets

• Sat, 15:42: I've been up an hour and have been trying to take a shower but I have social media to respond to...??? What are my choices in life
• Sat, 15:44: Also my boobs hurt, I'm sorrynotsorry you're not pregnant again this month, you moody bags of capricious flesh.
• Sat, 16:42: Made three stops en route to see @fffinnagain @HeadCumbernerd. This is the face of the chronically late. (I'm late.) http://t.co/9ZcVlxs8l6
• Sat, 16:46: I'm literally huffing from carrying shit up the subway station stairs and my arm hurts (I'm so weak) but then I auto-declined a seat?? Why??
• Sat, 16:56: I feel compelled to snap both @JupiterEyed and @johnfucknwatson when I snap one, ngl. Pairs. 👯
• Sat, 17:10: Either this dudebro literally just had a Pretty Woman makeover or he's just really rich. Everything new, crisp, put together, tan included.
• Sat, 17:13: You've heard of rolling over while drunk and drunk tweeting, now get ready for https://t.co/cSU1MyNbag
• Sat, 17:44: I BET THEY CALL HIM CHRISSY https://t.co/L7o50fspkp
• Sat, 18:30: I'm watching the Branagh Hamlet with the ladies and -- and -- Jack Lemmon is in this???
• Sat, 19:41: Find myself slurping on the asshole plate because @fffinnagain's salsa be really wet. http://t.co/d8PqiLABFn

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