avawatson: (Default)
Hi there! World! Utterly unbetaed opening of a fic below the cut. I know, sudden, right? I don't know what I'm doing, but I just felt like writing a thing. I got 2k through it, and that's...what's below the cut. It probably desperately needs a beta, because I know already that I've:
  • abused the shit out of some em-dashes
  • over-relied on italics, as always
  • written about foot stuff when I'm really not at all about foot stuff, so I'm probably fucking that up
and have further committed these other acts that deserve their own warnings:
  • John and Sherlock are both cisswapped to be female
  • John's name is still John
  • this is set in their 20s, with John fairly early in her medical training (residency maybe) and I know nothing about residency training
Good lord, I don't know. Anyway. Here. Betas welcome. My brain's started to continue this story, but if you think I should continue it...I don't know, maybe say something. >.> 

Basic premise: John and Sherlock enter into a friends with benefits sort of situation, which is one-sided (Sherlock gives John orgasms, because of course it's convenient). An excellent setup for pining and misunderstandings and also sex; we'll see if I can manage to do anything with it. Last edit addendum: no actual sex below the cut. This is all setup.

Read more... )
avawatson: (Default)
Me and my sassy twitter mouth made it to a blog post, thanks to this tweet:

Most of my reply back is reproduced below. Comments are moderated, so I'm not entirely sure when you'll see it on the blog post. But in any event, I have this ill-used livejournal and thought I'd thought-dump here.


I did understand the ACD canon reference actually, but that's what I find slightly...clumsy, let's say. A bit forced. Of all the things I find Moftiss' Sherlock, wise, much less wisest, doesn't make the top ten.

I grant that this Sherlock may be on his way to becoming much more the wise Sherlock Holmes that the canon John Watson knows, admires, and eulogizes in The Final Problem, but at this point in the adaptation? In The Empty Hearse? God, you know I'm still thinking of the utterly overcome/compromised Sherlock in The Great Game who paced around the pool and scratched his hair with a loaded gun in his hand once Moriarty had left them alone. I'm thinking of Sherlock panicking at the restaurant where John is obviously about to propose and revealing himself with a jokey mustache. And yes, there's always the cabbie's pill game that Sherlock very unwisely played in A Study in Pink, explicitly not under duress, for which John rightly called him an idiot. Honestly, has Sherlock never seen Princess Bride?!

A couple people have poked me in the ribs about this particular tweet, saying that grief does odd things to a person. But FINA's Watson's writing for the Strand readers at this point, isn't he? Diagetically, he's reporting on the final adventure Holmes and he shared, the case that ended a great man's life. He's had time to digest and reflect. He's memorializing.

But John already eulogized him once and he didn't use the term wisest. In The Reichenbach Fall, his words were, "You were the best man, the most human...human being that I have ever known, and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie." In public, on his blog, what he did say was very simply, "He was my best friend and I'll always believe in him." (If you take the johnwatsonblog.co.uk as canon.)

So maybe that's the disconnect between the words from FINA and the words that come out of John's mouth in TEH for me. What John's doing in TEH isn't eulogizing; this moment isn't meant to go beyond this subway car because presumably they're both about to die. No doubt, John's been grieving for last two years, but eulogizing, no. This John is repressed, "finds this stuff difficult." This John couldn't handle living at Baker Street and seeing Mrs. Hudson and talking to Ella about what Sherlock meant to him. This John, when he did eulogize Sherlock, did it before his grave, alone, after checking that Mrs. Hudson was out of earshot -- twice.

Hence Sherlock's surprise. He didn't suspect that John would harbor this high opinion of him still, after all this time. There's somehow more of where John's unfiltered s1-2 praise came from, more of the compulsive "that's amazing" praise that Sherlock is distinctly blase about by the time Irene Adler offers up her own version of it ("I'd have you twice right here on this desk until you begged for mercy"). Wise doesn't line up with my opinion of Sherlock at this point, despite the fact that supposedly series 1 and 2 were done in John POV. But John can't help what he thinks. It's little wonder that Sherlock memorializes him the way he does in his best man speech next episode.
avawatson: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] pennswoods had this great thread about why people ship what they ship. And it's a very personal and raw, so I don't want to just casually link it here (but Shannon's great and I love following her on all the networks is what I'm saying). Anyway, many many of the comments are really great, and I posted, got some wonderful feedback, and I wanted to just reproduce for you what I wrote there.

I think this might merit a separate post I'd like to see one day (or start) here, but I'm one of those fans that identify with Sherlock. I love John; I do, but I identify with Sherlock. The performance of being Sherlock Holmes, the ambition of Sherlock Holmes, the insecurity and emotion and the uncontrolled bits and super-locked-down controlled bits, and the wanting of all of it, and the absolute not wanting of all of it. Sherlock is just...who I identify with.

John, I love, and Martin Freeman I love, but I almost love John through Sherlock's eyes. I love John through earlgreytea68's eyes. I love John through the fandom's eyes. But Sherlock, I never had to read meta or watch him be a BAMF in a fic or appreciate the actor in other roles. He's broken and I love him when he's pining, I love him when he's made whole, I love him when he finds that thing that makes him happy. I love that WHEN he's made whole, it isn't that he stops running or has a reason to stop running; he has someone to run WITH. And John, who doesn't know like Sherlock has known, that he's drawn to these things he shouldn't be drawn to, finds that too. And they can be happy in their way together. Running.

I really want Sherlock to be happy, but I sit with him in the pining and angst and pain too. And I ship johnlock because I can't see him loving anyone else. I can't see anyone else making him happy. I can't see anyone else having the power to hurt him or to make him jump off a building. John is it for Sherlock, and I feel that so much, I think about it and feel it every damn day.

July 2017

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